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The Psychedelic Grief of Burning Man

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  • Mia Cosco
  • September 8, 2024
  • 6:50 am

The Psychedelic Grief of Burning Man

I am no hater of the influencer culture at Burning Man. I smile with playful amusement in genuine optimism to see a crowd of well-manicured and brightly colored costumes go by on my way to get a penis-shaped pancake at a sweltering camp I’ve never been to before. However, I am aware of the eye rolls and observant of the bitter muttering against “sparkle ponies” that I may hear around me. While being a sparkle pony is not a term of endearment in the Burning

While being a sparkle pony is not a term of endearment in the Burning Man culture, it’s more than frowned upon when the Instagram glitterati helicopter their way in and proceed to wear feathers, rhinestones, and bodysuits dripping in sparkles.

Man culture, it’s more than frowned upon when the Instagram glitterati helicopter their way in and proceed to wear feathers, rhinestones, and bodysuits dripping in sparkles. The sparkling procession then becomes MOOP (matter out of place– aka trash), stuff that’s careless and  potentially dangerous for the city’s survival and violates its strict Leave No Trace creed. As we settle into the reality of Burning Man in the 21st century, the all-too-common question arises out of yet another heatwave: Is Burning Man facing a culture war?

Photo of a young woman standing in front of a large sculpture of a horse standing on its hind legs in the desert with blue skies and some clouds in the background

Mia Cosco

Burning Man lore seems to be absurd. As I write this, another  exodus from Black Rock City is punctuated with an “unhinged epic dust storm.” The rare injury is reported where in this case, Rachael Gingery fell from the ship structure, Naga and the Captainess, from 20 feet (thankfully, she is recovering).  Pyramid Lake police have urged departing attendees not to plug their electric vehicles into the Pyramid Lake Paiute tribe infrastructure. In between the bizarre articles on private jets and weird trash found on Playa, a heartbreaking story is developing next to a picture of a love-struck couple:  Seattle resident Kendra Frazer, 39 years old, went with the love of her life to the desert event, but she never was able to wear the many costumes she sewed in the months prior.  She passed away on the first day and, mysteriously, there is no known cause of death, and toxicology results could take months, according to the county medical examiner. As confusing as the story is with no ability to point the finger, this isn’t the first time someone has passed away at Burning Man. The event started in 1990 in the Black Rock Desert and, in the 30+ years of the event, only about six other deaths have been reported in total—which is only impressive to the degree that there is a method to the madness there.

 

The Temple at Burning Man from outside at dusk

Mia Cosco

The Temple

The one place constant every year is the enigmatically artistic Temple, showcasing artists, performances, and, most impressively, everything from letters to full-on shoebox shrines honoring people who have passed away in the lives of attendees. Temple visitors come to feel the spirit and celebrate those who have passed away. Sometimes this spiritual respect, remembering, and reverence is aided by psychedelics. Burning Man is one of the few safe spaces to express grief, a core human experience that needs to be felt, in all stages.

Every year, the Temple gathers those seeking solace and respite. It is non-denominational and was first installed in the year 2000. The theme changes annually, and the first theme was the Temple of the Mind. It was not intended to be a memorial, but when David Best and Jack Hayes tragically lost their friend and fellow builder Michael Heflin in a motorcycle accident, the Temple of the Mind became a memorial and it has become a shared community space integral to Black Rock City every year since. Burners leave remembrances of their loved ones, and we can appreciate the Temple of Tears and the Temple of the Heart as examples. When I first went in 2019, I wrote an emotionally drafted letter to my mother with terrible handwriting (because this was an LSD-motivated journey) and, in 2022, I had the idea to write my book on grief. I couldn’t help but feel the palpable sense that safe spaces for grief are needed and an entire book dedicated to grief with at least a mention of Burning Man was an important addition for the world’s crying souls feeling alone and ashamed in that.

Photo of a young woman kneeling at the altar of a shrine inside a tent with colored fabric and bedding on the floor

Mia Cosco

In 2019 and 2022, I went to Burning Man.  As a non-music festival-goer, I only decided to go due to the strong encouragement of a friend who had led a camp at one point. When I first attended in 2019, I went with my friend to this camp, but only because I wanted to go with a purpose, so I volunteered at the Zendo. Of course, I had a great time which is why I decided to go again after the COVID-19 restrictions were lifted. I had two eight-hour shifts during the entire week where I got to watch over any well-meaning Burners who typically needed emotional assistance or full-on medical attention with world-class clinicians.

In 2022, I camped next to a ten-year veteran Burner who informed me that “Burning Man culture has changed in the sense that the culture and its nature is fluid and always changing– Changing just like we are as people. The Ten Principles of Burning Man anchor everyone and ensure cultural continuity. As long as we don’t forget why we are here, which the Ten Principles actively remind us, there is no need to worry about Burning Man culture because change is essential for life to flourish. Burning Man is a transformational kind of experience and very much like a psychedelic journey or ceremony in itself.”

Photo of a crowd of people centered around a laser light show outdoors

Mia Cosco

Conclusion

So, is Burning Man facing a culture war? The answer might be more nuanced than a simple yes or no. As my decade-old campmate pointed out, Burning Man’s culture is inherently fluid, shaped by the changing tides of the people who come and go each year. While the influx of influencers and sparkle ponies might ruffle some feathers, it’s important to remember that the event is anchored by its Ten Principles, which act as a cultural continuity that resists the pull of superficial changes. More importantly, the annual event in Nevada’s Black Rock City remains a rare and sacred space where people can express and process their grief—a universal human experience—in ways that are both deeply personal and collectively supported. As long as the Temple stands and Burners continue to honor their lost loved ones, Burning Man will retain its essence, allowing it to be a space for transformation, just like a psychedelic journey. The real war isn’t against sparkle ponies or influencers; it’s against the loss of spaces where we can be vulnerable, grieve openly, and ultimately, heal.

Photo of a pretty young woman wearing a hat with wide brim inside a tent with other people sitting around it.

Mia Cosco

About the Author

Mia Cosco hosts support groups for grief both online and offline. She offers a fresh and witty take on mental health, New Age spirituality, and psychedelic psychotherapy. After studying psychology at the University of British Columbia, Mia went on to volunteer with MAPS Canada and The Zendo Project at Burning Man in both 2019 and 2022. She is working on releasing her debut book: The GRIEF Methodology. Feel free to connect with her at @miacosco or one of her centers out of Cambridge, MA, where she facilitates in partnership with Daybreaker.

Photo of the author in burner garb turning around to face the camera in the dusty environs of Burning Man

Mia Cosco

References

  1. Burns, M. (2024, August 18). A closer look at Burning Man’s 2024 exodus report: What to expect this year. SFGate. https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/burning-man-exodus-report-2024-19738570.php
  2. Burns, M. (2024, August 15). Woman falls from tall climbable Burning Man art installation. SFGate. https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/woman-falls-from-tall-climbable-burning-man-art-19735468.php
  3. KCRA Staff. (2023, August 29). Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe bans electric vehicles from Burning Man. KCRA. https://www.kcra.com/article/pyramid-lake-police-burning-man-tribe-electric-vehicles/62035929
  4. KIRO 7 News Staff. (2024, August 16). A woman who died at the Burning Man festival was from Tukwila. KIRO 7 News. https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/woman-who-died-burning-man-festival-was-tukwila/TRZM6JH2H5CN3DXUZXVVUHYPO4/
  5. Hamilton, B. (2024, August 17). How to save Burning Man: Lessons for preserving the culture and spirit of the event. San Francisco Chronicle. https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/openforum/article/how-to-save-burning-man-19731197.php
  6. Burning Man Project. (n.d.). The 10 Principles of Burning Man. Burning Man. https://burningman.org/about/10-principles/
  7. Reddit user [u/purplecircle2023]. (2024, September 1). Daft Punk played the Trash Fence this year. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/BurningMan/comments/16adffz/daft_punk_played_the_trash_fence_this_year/
  8. Ritter, K. (2024, August 24). Who attends Burning Man? Here’s what the organization’s latest census says. Reno Gazette Journal. https://www.rgj.com/story/news/2024/08/24/who-attends-burning-man-heres-what-the-organizations-latest-census-says/74922087007/#:~:text=Burning%20Man%20’virgins’%20on%20the,of%20Burning%20Man)%20is%20female
  9. Burning Man Project. (n.d.). Black Rock City Temple Grant. https://burningman.org/programs/burning-man-arts/grants/black-rock-city-temple-grant/

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