Trauma and Ecstasy is Alex Abraham’s compelling autobiographical account of using psychoactive drugs to heal from the lifelong physical and psychological damage of childhood sexual abuse. Abraham gives credit for moving past the trauma primarily to his efforts combining these drugs with talk therapy, stating that he had repressed his painful memories until finding this method. In harrowing detail, Abraham discusses personal experiences of screaming and crying on the couches of therapists and shamans while high out of his mind in a desperate search for inner peace, as well as the grotesque victimization he was subjected to as a child. This book isn’t a selection for the faint of heart.

 

The first fifty pages read like an unfolding mystery. Abraham flips between describing his early childhood and trying doctor after doctor as an adult to find the cause for the erectile dysfunction and prostate pain he was experiencing. When those problems started affecting relationships and increasing day-to-

Abraham’s personal experience will hopefully become a milestone in legalizing these modalities for therapeutic use.

day anxiety and depression, he began learning about alternative therapies using controlled experiments with MDMA, LSD, and psilocybin. These intense therapy sessions are depicted in detail, juxtaposed with graphic sections where Abraham recalls the acts of rape his teacher committed.

 

Related: What Is Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for PTSD?

 

The hideousness of the ladder cannot be understated. In significant portions of the book, Abraham describes his childhood piano instructor systematically grooming and molesting him countless times, laying speculation he was one of many children targeted by a pedophile ring. These hellacious attacks were violent. His teacher would choke him to the point of losing consciousness, in some cases leaving him bleeding for days.