Psychedelic Skeletons in the Closet–Roy Orbison
- Serene Dominic
- August 9, 2021
- 11:46 am
Psychedelic Skeletons in the Closet–Roy Orbison
Everybody who made a record before 1967 has a bad psychedelic moment. This month we examine Roy Orbison’s darkest hour, or a least it seems like an hour.
People who reckon ol’ Roy could warble the Yellow Pages and make it sound like “Ave Marie” have never gotten within earshot of this excruciating mini-opera, seven minutes of blankety-blank verse in six incongruous musical movements, including an extremely embarrassing “go-go” sequence! Easy Rider Dennis Hopper would have no trouble getting high to Orbison’s “In Dreams” in everyone’s favorite feel good movie of 1986, Blue Velvet, but this platter would qualify as a bad trip any time, any year, and when it’s over “You won’t be seeing rainbows anymore.” Guaranteed!
Sort of like if “Eleanor Rigby” blew her mind out in a car.
Suspect Record:
“Southbound Jericho Parkway Parts 1 and 2” by Roy Orbison
Release Date In Relation to Sgt. Pepper LP:
March 3, 1969, nineteen groovy months later.
Suspicious Psychedelic Instrumentation:
Creepy strings, guitar feedback, lonely sitar/guitar strums, cello groans and that heavenly choir for the operatic ending that is required by law on every Roy Orbison ballad.
Bad Psychedelia Enabler:
Although he had no direct involvement, composer Jimmy Webb is to blame, since his”MacArthur Park” made it all right for squares like Richard Harris to sing four movement, seven minute cantatas and soar to the top of the charts with them. Orbison, clearly suffering from “MacArthur Park-insons” disease here, tells this turgid tale of lonely Mr. Henry Johnson , “a man whose memories were made of nothing/ he presses the elevator door and goes home to no one”–feeling sorry for him yet? Henry tires of never getting any mail from his dysfunctional family and eventually crashes his car into a wall. Sort of like if “Eleanor Rigby” blew her mind out in a car.
Psychedelic Crutch Words:
Mostly used when describing Mr. Johnson’s hippie son, “our boy with all his hair” who “dropped out to expand his mind.” Not exactly subtle, Roy manages to use the word “psychedelic” as well as “PEACE” in capital letters.
What’s It Sound Like?
There’s too many horrors to list here but you’ll get the idea if you can imagine Roy singing while another eerie voice whispers along behind him:
‘He was a good man, he was a clean man/Yeah, that was it, he was a GOOD CLEAN MAN!’
And his landlady said he was an ex-em-pla-rary TENANT!
As for the music, it’s mostly downbeat ballads, except for the freak-out go-go section (another “MacArthur” moment) and the bit after Mr. Johnson drives his car into a wall, where the suite gets incongruous bouncy, like it’s “Windy” by the Association!
Worst Lyrical Moment:
When this song/suite/shitfest decides it isn’t going to rhyme even once. Seriously, the worst moment occurs when Henry’s widow/ex-wife looks to the heavens and dutifully tells him that the insurance check has just arrived, news that no doubt brought money-minded Henry relief in the Great Beyond. Cue the heavenly choir!
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2 thoughts on “Psychedelic Skeletons in the Closet–Roy Orbison”
Holy Moley!
I wasn’t too sure about this column at first – calling out failed psychedelic attempts – but Serene Dominic really kicked butt on this one. I read the article – funny as hell – and then I listened.
I could only make it about 3/4ths of the way. It truly was a brutal thing to listen to. Very unusual though! So thanks for the turn on!
He was a GOOD CLEAN MAN! Heheh!