Grief changes us. For Stuart Preston, the loss of his son to suicide led to a life-altering journey through meditation, therapy, and ultimately psychedelics. In this thoughtful and grounded episode of the Psychedelic Scene podcast, host Jill Sitnick and Stuart explore what it means to live with grief, how our society misunderstands it, and how altered states of consciousness can offer unexpected space for healing.

What does grief really feel like?

Stuart describes grief not as something you “get over,” but as something you learn to live with. Using metaphors like “landmines” or “waves,” he explains how grief surfaces suddenly, often triggered by memories, and can feel just as raw years later.

How did psychedelics enter Stuart’s grief journey?

Surprisingly, it was a desire to dream of his son that first led Stuart to explore psychedelics. Raised by a DEA agent and strongly anti-drug, he took the plunge only after deep research and preparation. His first psilocybin journey cracked open his worldview and introduced him to a profound sense of love and interconnectedness.

What role did intentional psychedelic use play?

Stuart’s use was careful, paced, and grounded in intention. With time, he moved from seeking reconnection to releasing attachment. In one journey, his son appeared as a projection, offering reassurance. In another, Stuart found himself able to say, “I’m okay. You can go now.” These weren’t escape hatches from pain—they were emotional truths revealed in altered states.

What does this tell us about grief and healing?

Western culture often treats grief as a condition to be cured. Stuart and Jill argue instead for space, community, and acceptance. Psychedelics, when used safely and intentionally, aren’t magic pills—but they can open doors to insight and release.

Are psychedelics for everyone?

No. Both speakers caution against glamorizing the process. Set, setting, timing, and emotional readiness matter. Stuart shares one difficult journey that forced him to confront suicidal thoughts, which later became part of his healing.